After coming out to dad I was getting prepped to go away the following week, i made the decision to for the first time in ages, go and get my back hair removed professionally by a waxer as doing it myself never ended well, and the last time i tried a 'pro waxer' was not pleasant.
Thursday 24th June
Friday 26th June,
Travel day, i made the decision that girl me was going away the whole trip, no male clothing coming at all, and i was going to travel for the first time as Emma. Nervous, yeah a little bit, but knowing it was a neat little step forward, so a subtle makeup, fresh wax and veet, and dressed in a skirt, with cami T-Shirt and unisex sweater on, away i went, my male wallet was left on the bed with its contents in a feminine wallet, with a handbag it was off to CHCH, a girls weekend where i got to catch up and spend some cool shopping time with Agate, then Dinner with Sarah, and Ellie.
The road trip was surreal, i had to
make a couple of stops on the trip, for potty breaks, and eventually
lunch. Oamaru was cool, the couple of interactions with people i had
while perusing the warehouse, then stopping for potty break were
normal interactions.
Ashburton was a slightly different
story, I decided i needed food, and a potty break after a slowish
trip from Oamaru to Ashburton, so i pulled into Kmart/St Pierres
sushi, intending to do food, bathroom, then kmart before carrying on
to CHCH, however, the kmart stop never happened, i got out of my car
and headed to grab food, sit and eat, then carry on the plan, and
there were a few people who openly stared, and as i waited in line to
hand over my order, i did hear a couple of not so wonderful whispers
and a few more stares. I quickly decided that, eat, pee and leave
would be a great idea, and when i left i did feel more than a few
sets of eyes follow me, and after getting into my car, a couple of
moments of reflection where i ended up with the, meh their problem
not mine i carried on to CHCH.
The next step was check in at the motel, i had booked via Booking dot com, and chose the motel because i had stayed there before, and according to the website, and via actual experience LGBTQI friendly.
I arrived in female mode, despite my ID being male, and the booking made under my male self, the staff were awesome, and i had a bonus upgrade, instead of the small single room i booked, i ended up in an apartment that could sleep 6 or 7 people in real comfort.
First step after arriving, hanging the dresses in the wardrobe, and getting settled, it was dinner time, so off i went out to go grab some food from one of the close by outlets, it was only as i started walking down the footpath out the gate of the motel and on busy Papanui Rd that it hit me, shit im out walking at night, as me... what happens if. The first place i wanted to try had a notice they were closed due to illness, and without much choice left it was either BK, Domino's or a servo dinner. Servo dinner won out as both BK & Dom's were packed and i didnt really want to hang out too long in either place... get food, go eat and relax and prep for Saturday's adventures.
Saturday 27th June
The morning dawned not too bad weather wise, but cool. My day outfit was sorted, i showered, shaved my face, let that settle, then make up, dress accessorise and off to Riccarton to meet up with Agate.
We then spent the next 3-4 hours
shopping, and it was awesome, just 2 girls out shopping and having a
normal Saturday. One of the biggest highlights, and moments of
euphoria definitely walking into City Chic, and the AMAZING staff
remembered me, despite it being 8 months since i had physically been
in store. An hour and multiple hundred dollars lighter, i walked out
with 2 gorgeous black dresses, and a pair of shoes.. Unfortunately i
did not get pics of the dresses in store, i was to involved in
shopping hahaha. Another really affirming couple of interactions
were a couple of others shopping complimenting the dresses i tried
on, but also getting asked by another about how she looked in what
she was trying on...
I love the store, and will always
recommend them to anyone wanting to go and buy good clothes with
friendly and accepting staff!
Myself and Agate continued to wander the mall before lunching, then moving over to Tower junction and Toyworld. I also ended up at Photo & video in Merivale, and it is a store i go to when in CHCH, and male me knows many of the staff due to talking to them over the years either when they repped for photographich companies or talking shop. It was the first time i presented as authentic me, and i went looking for a lens they were advertising online,and when the staff member asked how i knew so much about the not common brand, i explained i was Hayden from Southern Cameras/Musselburgh Pharmacy in Dunedin, and got an oh, so good to meet you, and on we chatted about all things camera. I passed on the lens at the time, but i still see it listed so maybe in a little bit when i save some more $$$
For Dinner I met Sarah at Corianders
In the City, an Indian resturant we went to last October with Ellie
and Candi as well. Unfortunately Candi was unable to attend, and due
to illness Ellie also had to miss which sucked, but life happens.
But, it also was great that it was just myself and Sarah, we had
great conversation, and the food was excellent.
We had
initially talked about going to a small bar Sarah has been to
multiple times, but by the time we finished dinner, I was out of
energy, especially as i didnt get a chance to take a quick nap before
getting ready for dinner
Sunday 28th June
Checked out of the motel, and on the way out of CHCH i stopped at the DressMart outlet mall and had a wander, more money out the purse in the Bendon Outlet store... Stopped at the Z station in Rolleston to top the fuel up, grab a drink for the drive and some brekkie... Broke a damn nail on the door of the warm food cabinet closing it WAAHHHHHHH!
Coming home was bittersweet, unlike my last chch trip where i travelled in male mode, and the closer i got home the more anxious i got, travelling as authentic me, i felt a peace that i havent ever felt. normal interactions with anyone i encountered on stops were just regular things. The anxiety started to get more noticible as i unpacked, did laundry realizing that getting up Monday meant boy clothes, no nice dresses or feminine clothing choices or makeup..
Monday 29th
June.
Back to work and straight into the fire so to speak as
we were busy with first day of school holidays, and catching up with
what had accumulated the previosu week in my abscence.
Tuesday
brought a bit more calmness, and a chance where having a quick
conversation with our office administrator, she asked about how my
week was, and how was CHCH, we got chatting and it casually got
mentioned that i spent too much, especially when dress shopping,
where i ended up with 2 new dresses and a pair of heels, and i found
not a lot on my toy hunt. The office administrator stopped a couple
of minutes later and asked what i meant when i said 2 new dresses and
a pair of heels when dress shopping, and it all came out, i came out
as LGBTQI, and that at some point down the road i will be
transitioning. At the time, she said, ok, if its you, do you, and we
went about our day, My boss and the owner of the business was later
informed, and his response was once again, ok, that cool, let us know
if or when things start happening and what we need to do going
forward. The Office Manager also mentioned that she had noticed a
change in me and that i was calmer, and there seemed to be a peace
within me that was allowing my true self to emerge.
The other neat thing that happened that week, was i finally got a date for the surgery to remove the bladder stone that has been floating about for 2 years. What is hilarious thinking back, it was about the second appointment with my counsellor that started this road to bring Emma from deep in the back of the closet to being actually me.
Thursday 9th July
Not much to report today, had my Anesthesiolgy pre surgical appointment, and the Dr, Celine was awesome as per protocols, she asked pronouns, name how i identify, and she chuckled when i said male name, He/Him Pronouns for now, when she asked if i wanted others noted i said no, and she asked if i was sure, and replied in the affirimitive we completed the appointment, and things carried on as normal for the rest of the day.
Tuesday 14th July
SURGERY DAY! Off to hospital before 9am, and every nurse or attendant asked about my nails, and asked the pronoun questions as per last thursday.
9:40am in my surgical gown, waiting to go for surgery, and a text arrives from the GP asking to book an appointment as she is concerned by a couple of things in my pre-surgical appointment.
10:30 Surgery time, off to theatre. In theatre, and the Anastesiology nurse asks about the pink nails still on my fingers from the CHCH trip, and where i got them done, its been a common question ever since, they ask if they are acrylic or gel and where i get them done...
1pm, ive been taken to post op recovery, everything done successfully and i now have a small quarry of rocks that was once the 20mm diameter stone.
3:30pm, i am home, the feeling is weird, no pain and i can move reasonably freely.
Thursday 16th July
2 days post op, and the strongest pain relief ive had in the last 2 days is Panadol, no muscle relaxers, no strong pain relief, no diuretics..
Went for a walk, pain free, and at
normal pace, keeping up in padestrian traffic is weird after 2 years
of slow walks and pain.
It would have also been Mum's 73rd
Birthday, so a few memories and tear in remembrance of an amazing
human being. I am sure she would be accepting of the new me.
Friday 17th
Back to work already, and had a great day, no issues until i got home and after a full day of work, tightened up so a norflex before bed to help
Wednesday 22nd July 2026
Funny story, today at work while dealing with one of my regular sales reps, we were chatting about stuff, and she commented on the earrings i had on, and i thanked her, and complimented her on her outfit, and how if i had her dress it would be a favorite, but i cant pull off the fluffy vest trend, and asked where she got it from, and when she answered city Chic, i answered i love the store and visit any time im in chch, and we carried on as normal. About 10 minutes later while discussing something in the shop, and possibly moving a product to a more prominent spot, she stopped, and asked what i meant by i love City Chic, and was i serious about the dress. So i am now out to a rep who has promised to not mention it as i am making the revelation to certain trusted reps as things progress, and we left it at that, the day carried on as normal,
Little did i realize that only a couple of days later a major road deviation would appear out of the blue
