2026 well underway and some not so small things are happening a quick catchup

This post should have happened a loooong time ago, but better late than never...

One of the biggest things as the year got underway was the self-applied pressure to come out to my dad.

I have spoken with counselor multiple times about this, and we came to the conclusion that don't rush it, let it develop and carry on with conversations, and to carry on if conversations head the way of rainbow communities, start planting some seeds during these conversations.

Not a lot happened, worked a lot, deal with a medical issue that includes some wonderful associated pain, that included 2 visits to the ER over Waitangi Weekend in 36hrs

After much talking to myself and my counsellor, including planting of seeds during conversations during our weekly lunch get togethers i had worked the courage up to talk with dad about coming out as not only Bi, but also Trans. I made the decision to do this over Easter while at the Warbirds over Wanaka show, and despite the show being majorly altered with due to the Persian Gulf conflict, and the associated price spike of fuels the Militaries who were to attend and display pulled out at late notice, and the weather being the coldest ever... I was so thankful for packing my comfy thick women's active wear to keep warm

The show was still one of the best shows, even if really cold.

The day i was going to tell dad, we were walking on the show grounds, and i had to stop and pause the plan to re-evaluate as a couple of comments got passed observing people including some LGBTQI families that were not in positive light. I made comments in support of those people so happily living their truths that washed over dad.

On talking with my counselor about this and how i felt in the aftermath of such comments, the anxiety of coming out and the fear of dad rejecting me was starting to infect my thoughts more, I am sooooo thankful for the many chats with an amazing new friend in CHCH who has become such an amazing confidante and sounding board for my concerns and the ability to offer advice and different ways to approach things.

May/June

Life carries on, trips to town shopping, and more confidence of going shopping for women's wear and beauty products and actually shopping, rather than rush into a store, find something in my size grabbing, paying and leaving, Ive started taking the time to look, find what i like and also enjoying the shopping experience.

After another trip to ER due to complications with my stone, and as i rolled into June, having once again offering a rebuttal to a comment dad made about a trans woman who was enjoying the company of an adult child one day at lunch, and some more reflection and discussions with Rohanna, a way to expose a bit more of me was to purchase some subtle pride pieces, something like a small pin maybe, so i went looking and found a neat reversible wristband so i ordered them, and since late May, ive worn at very least the wristband, and a small pin. I wore these for a couple of weeks, and one week dad asked what i had on my sweater, and he was happy with the oh, just a couple of small pins, but it was then i made the decision i was doing it. Dad had to know!

I had also booked some time off work and planned a trip to see the girls in CHCH and do some shopping with the intention of spending a day or too as what has rapidly become what I realize as my true self.

Much like last year when it just got to a point and i came out to my brother and his partner, it happened with telling dad.

Wednesday 17^th June was the day my world got a bit brighter, I had had a great day at work and made a decision that i had to do it, the only question was do i call like i did with my brother, or a messenger message.
After much deliberation, a message had to be sent, so sitting on my bed, and taking about 45 minutes – 1hr to craft the message i sent it at 11:53pm and tried to sleep knowing i was meant to see him for lunch and wondering if he would show up as normal, or send a message saying he couldn't make it. So when dad walked in to work as normal, i knew it was not the worst thing that could happen, we chatted as normal over lunch talking about all the things we normally talk about, and on the way back to work he said, I got your message this morning, and i read it a couple of times, and he said he loved me, and that while it wasn't how he imagined my life going, and he didn't understand the whole thing, if i am happy, then be happy. He also did say that if this had been done in previous 3+ years, things would not have been this way and i probably would have not much of a relationship with him.
So that was a massive plus ahead of going away. He asked a couple of really good questions about where it was heading, and honestly i told him that i intend to female to be what i see as the authentic me. I joked that my trips to Christchurch over the last couple of years were to do exactly that, get to spend time as me in female clothes doing daily things without the stress and anxiety of being recognized and outed by people i know either socially or through work, and that things like going to buy a computer or just getting out of town to visit friends were convenient cover stories that happened to be true, and dad pretty much said, he knew there was more to the sudden decision to start going to Christchurch regularly with thin sounding reasons, and that he had suspected, as i on my male social media had a number of Trans friends.

So that has been pretty amazing, out to close family, and an upcoming trip to Christchurch to catch up with friends, and spend Emma time was upcoming, and what trip that was in the end!